A chapter coming to an end for my mother-in-law, she is moving from her home to a rest home next Wednesday 
. Does everyone feel as I do, whatever is inside us, our soul if you like, defies time and age, our minds stay younger than our outer shells? If so, is my mother-in-law thinking why does she have to leave her home and enter an institution, is her mind too still young and active but her body is letting her down, and badly? I think the answer will probably be yes, in which case, old age really can suck for some, but if the alternative, or one of them, is to go before your time...........aaaaaaaarrrrrhhhhh, I'm confused and a little sad too. I would hate to die and leave my family any time soon, and the trouble is the inner me will always feel like that won't it, so no time is the right time, unless our inner selves get tired and therefore want to go somewhere else, somewhere better. Actually, this is all too deep isn't it, and I have to leave for work pretty soon. Trouble is with life and death, you could go round and round in circles for just about ever and still not come up with the answers!
Anyway, my mother-in-law has made her decision, she is moving and it will happen next Wednesday. I visited her yesterday, no mention of the family tensions, anyway N's brother wasn't present thankfully. Communication still at a minimum, but that's their problem, I'm not intervening any more, and if Gina wants to feed her diabetic mum cake for breakfast, so be it, once she goes to the rest home her diet will be monitored and all will be well, so am keeping it zipped 
I know it sounds ungrateful, but I'm really hoping we don't get a flaming heat wave, at my time of life I don't wear HOT well, especially now I am minus HRT, then theres the extra pounds/stones. Trouble is daily life on a hospital ward, unless you are sporting a nightie of course, is fairly unbearable at the best of times let alone in tropical temps. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the sun, just not when I am working, no, I need access to cool clear blue water when the sun is at its height and unfortunately you don't get that on the NHS! Speaking of cool water and sun, my hols getting ever closer, 22 Sept and counting, please, please, please don't let anything prevent our departure, it means so much to get away especially as this is the ONLY time N ever takes off work. Our fortnite just as a couple is so important, too important really, which is why I get so paranoid that something will prevent it. 
2007-08-02 @ 16:55